is this thing on? Oh, please let it be on, please don't let me be just rambling on to myself
Right, responding to your message. Responding. Right now.
Well, um, first of all, don't cry. Please don't cry, luv. You, ah, mentioned you were crying at one point in your message, but, but! You only implied that you'd stopped, so, just throwing that out there, I'd really prefer it if you didn't cry. Especially if, though you didn't say that either, once again, I just sorta got the feeling
especially if it's because of me. I really couldn't stand the thought that you might have been crying because of me so, just saying, don't. No reason for it at all. I'm fine, and you've escaped, and everything's fine. Really.
And that's a load of bull, right there, that is. Not the you crying part, because, seriously, don't do that, but the me being fine part. Because I'm not, really. I mean, I'm in space, for crying out loud! Not exactly the best situation, not the ideal place for me to be. Space. Which, now that I think of it, you asked about, so, um, let's
let's talk about space! Sure, let's do that
Well, for starters, it's very big. You
you probably knew that, probably picked up on that a long time ago, but I'm not just being silly here, you really never do get over how big space is. I saw a picture, back when the scientists were still around, of the night sky. The stars looked so close you could almost touch them! But, up here, without the old atmosphere making them all twinkly and shimmery, they don't really. Stars look really, really far away
By the time the light from a star reaches you, the star is already dead. Stars that are still alive are so far away, their light will not reach the spot where you are until long after your death.
Thanks for making my point, mate. They're not even there anymore. So
also empty. Very empty, up here. In space.
Yes, mate, we know! God
why did he have to reactivate now? Trying to make a deep, meaningful response to your letter, nice little recording, and of course he's going to come out of sleep mode right now. Absolutely had to, didn't he, couldn't wait another half-hour
Anyway, like you said, shouldn't really be able to get lonely, with these blokes around, but the funny thing is, it happens sometimes. Not a lot, not a lot, don't worry, it's just that they aren't really too big on conversation. Just space. And facts. And I'm still not quite sure what makes ol' Rick tick, I mean, he says it's adventure, but I really can't tell; way he goes on seems more like it's explosions, or fighting, or girls
I don't understand it. Well, I sorta do, on the last one, but not really, I mean, what's so great about having loads of girls throwing themselves at your feet, eh? Seems like you'd spend an awful lot of time tripping over them, probably hurting them, though if they're stupid enough to actually throw themselves at your feet, then maybe a small bruise in roughly the shape of a foot will do them some good. Help get the message across: be more sensible about where you're throwing yourself. Or just plain be sensible, and don't throw yourself at all. Sensible, that's what I've always though one should look for in people. Always a good feature, that. Not one I've got too much of, but you, you've got buckets of it! Don't think I've ever met anyone as sensible as you.
not really relevant, but, you know, just thought I'd put it out there. Cards on the table, all that.
Where was I? Oh, right, right, got it. Sorry for that, got a little sidetracked. It happens.
So, these fellows, not really big on conversation. Not like you. Not that you really participated in the conversation, but you were a great listener, and that's what mattered, really. No one ever listens to me, and you did, or at least you seemed like you did. If you were, in fact, bored out of your mind and just didn't bother to, erm, communicate that, then I'm sorry. Get a little carried away sometimes, little excited when I'm telling a story, and sometimes I don't pay enough attention to the person I'm actually talking to. So, ah, sorry about that, if it bothered you, because I swear, I wasn't trying to bore you. Just the opposite, in fact.
Ah, let me review your letter for a minute. Can't really think of what to say next
aah, ah, ah, SPACE! Aah
Fact: cores who continue to obsess over space are inferior to those who don't.
Proven: the Space Sphere is deaf.
Oh, here we go! The, um, the core transfer. You apologized for it. You really shouldn't do that, luv, not your fault at all. I mean, sure, you pushed the button, but what happened after that? All me. Little ol' Wheatley doesn't handle power too well, as it turns out, went a little mad, granted, and you are not responsible for my actions. At all. I made my choices, albeit, pretty bad ones, and look where they landed me. Space. Still, better than being dead, which is almost certainly what would have happened, if you'd been able to pull me in. So it's a good thing She knocked me out of your hands, see? Because the other option was Her killing me, I guarantee it, and then you'd be blaming yourself for that, wouldn't you? Because you're selfless like that. Not what I said, I know, Back There, but it's the truth. In fact, if you want my real opinion, just take everything I said Back There and reverse it, turn it right around, and that's what I think of you. Really.
Just the negative stuff, mind! All the positive stuff, that's still true, all on its own, so just reverse the negative stuff, and there you go. All that other stuff, it's all lies. I know that, technically and all, I did mean it, at the time, but that doesn't change the fact that it's not true, and I know it, and therefore, by definition, it's a lie.
Aaaaand, now let me apologize for telling horrible, vicious lies, designed to hurt your feelings, because I feel really, really bad about that now
the whole mess, really, I regret the whole sordid thing
heh, not a word I get to use much, "sordid." Pretty sure it means "unpleasant," but in a more extreme sort of way. Seemed appropriate, under the circumstances. If I'm misusing it, just, ah, tell me in your next broadcast. Really looking forward to that, by the way, very happy that you mentioned that you would most likely do another one. So you can correct me then, when that happens. Assuming, of course, that you do get this, and the thing is on, and it's not just me, talking to myself, in space. Because, going to be straight with you, there's been a bit too much of that lately.
Star. Star. Star. Star. Star.
On the plus side, there is a very nice view from up here! You've got the Earth, nice little blue-white-green marble, all shimmery, and the moon, which is just far enough away to be sorta pretty, from this angle, at least, and way off in the distance you've got the sun, which isn't very warm at all, and it's really awfully bright, did not anticipate quite how bright it would be, so I haven't actually gotten a good look at it, and every so often, there's a comet. Meteors too, but they're really just big floating rocks, not all that interesting, unless they happen to be heading straight for you, of course. Seen a few of those, very exciting, probably not healthy, though, so I'm glad there haven't been too many.
If you are making a response to that radio message, the Fact Sphere would like you to pass on his regards to the test subject, for beating the odds, and surviving.
Yeah, tell the pretty lady congrats for us, won'tcha?
Space lady! Sent me to space! Space lady should have stayed in space, had fun
The fellows miss you.
Aaaand so do I. We, ah, we had some times down there, didn't we? Don't worry about the whole dropping thing, it didn't really hurt that much, and, hey accidents happen, right? What matters is that you picked me back up off that floor, and we kept going. Really, it's not like you knew how fast I was going to fall that first time
or that I was going to come out of that tube
I did see that you were worried, when we got separated that second time, I'm not completely oblivious, and I'd like to, um, thank you. For worrying. About me. Because not a lot of people would do that, most people would just go "Oh, he's a robot, he'll be fine," or "He's been through worse," but you, you looked downright panicked, and I know that shouldn't make me feel good, but it does. So, once again, thanks. And not just for that. For carrying me, and putting up with me and just generally being everything anyone could ever want in a friend, and I'm so, so sorry for everything that I did to you, because you didn't deserve any of it, and I
I've got a little light blinking here telling me that I need to wrap it up and send the damn message before I run out of room on the voluntary recording chip and have to just start over. Oh well, at least we know it's working. There's one mystery solved. That's, ah, that's from when we first met, remember? I'm not sure if you could hear me at the time, there was a lot of slamming into large metal objects going on
I wish we could go back to right then. I really do. I swear, I'd do everything differently, and we'd have escaped just fine, She'd never even have woken up, and
Um, look, last few seconds here, so, just listen. You said that, if we ever met again, if you had the chance, you'd catch me. I guess what I've been trying to say is, while it's completely not necessary, while I'd completely understand it if you left me to rot in the middle of a field somewhere
I'd like that. That's all, really. Oh, and if our situations were reversed, I'd do the same for you.